Contracts Finalized. 3 weeks to go!!

Sorry for our recent radio silence, there has not been too much going on, so not much to share.  We have been sitting ducks the past few weeks trying to be patient and hoping time passes quickly – but it doesn’t seem to be going quickly enough for us.  Well I guess I shouldn’t really say 'sitting ducks', we have been busy with paperwork headaches and legal mumbo jumbo, but that stuff isn’t exciting to read about. 

In May, I learned that we would be unable to draft up the contract ourselves, due to the new laws of surrogacy in California and the major hearing, in front of a family law judge, we will have to do for the PBO (pre-birth order) but that’s whole other blog in itself so we will skip over all that for now – that court headache we will come back to after Xmas.

I spent most of May and June calling *lots* of different lawyers, and interviewing what felt like even more.  I reached some lawyers that were amazing, some that were clue-less and didn't even understand what GS was, even one I thought was perfect until digging further into her online and finding out she was involved with an agency that was scamming IPs (intending parents) and currently had an on-going FBI case open on them.  Oh and what fun reading about her that was!  I was finally was able to narrow the attorneys down to the 2, and felt very confidant in their knowledge and experience with surrogacy agreements, and their personality was perfectly fitting as well.  We shelled out another six-grand for a simple 16-page contract, half of which probably wasn’t necessary.  Its crazy how much legal stuff is involved in such a simple case of “we just want to help you have a baby.”  Jim and ( understand all the possible circumstances which can happen, but we have absolutely no concern or worry that "Baby Baker" will shoot up herion mid-pregnancy, light up a joint or cigarette, we know they will not up and disappear to another country, or running off with our babies.  There is no possible distress of there ever being a court case because they want to keep the babies or suing us for partial custody ... but my goodness what these contracts detail out.  I have been warned by everyone, about every possibility and how extra careful we need to be - however all that has much of a chance happening, as I have growing a 3rd pinky toe!  I swear pretty much everything is in the contract just shy of how she can cut her toes nails or how many times she can brush her hair at a particular time of day. I’ve heard typical GS agency contracts can be upwards in length of 50-some pages, so I do know this is much less then what we would have to deal with  - but WOW!!  

After all of the stress and praying of finding the perfect lawyers for us,  the contract is finally done and all parties have signed and notarized their part of it – what a relief to have that behind us! 

This past Monday, along with getting the contract finalized, I dropped of the last of my Sharp containers to the lab, and have to admit it feels very strange not doing a single pill, or injection.  The missing pharmacy assembly line has made me realize how much extra space we have in our kitchen - now I have to figure out what to fill it with .... Kitchen Aid would be perfect :)

It strange no longer waking up to medication alarms, planning my day around 1 of 6 injections or staring at medication calendars on the fridge door, it is now all in the hands of our amazing “Baby Baker”.  I have absolute full faith she would never miss a medication, but to have this totally out of my hands, is an awkward feeling.  Another lesson for me in the "learning to let go" arena.  She started meds up a week ago and things seem to be going fairly well ... or at least thats what she says.  She is currently on Lupron (with all its awesome s/e’s), which will down-regular her hormones so that it can all be controlled via injections, to properly time transfer.  She is now realizing the full spectrum of the lovely Lupron side effects, and unfortunately experiencing more of them than I ever did – that or I just got too used to it all.  Nothing like having morning sickness before your even pregnant!  She has also been on Dexamethasone (a steroid) which is pretty standard in any IVF.  Dex is to help the body keep from rejecting the embryos upon transfer, and typically continued through the 10th week of pregnancy.

Tomorrow the fun really starts to begin.  Before starting the E2V (estrogen injections), she  has to be seen for a baseline u/s to make sure the "rental space" is free from any kind of polyps or fibroids, or anything else that could interfere or make it difficult for our 'twinkies' to implant.  She had something done that was fairly simpler to this, just a few months ago, and her uterus looked "beautiful" so we are not too worried about tomorrows appointment.  All baseline u/s & labs are standard before starting any kind injection that is hormone stimulating - since estrogen and/or progesterone can make cysts, fibroids or polyps get larger.

This is so second nature to Jim and I - so its hard for me to remember that this is uncharted territory to most people, especially to her.  I get those surrogates that do this as a “job” getting paid for every minuet thing they do.  A fee for every injection, every procedure, every appointment, and every ¼ mile they drive.  I’ve seen GS ask if it was ‘OK’ if they charged more for their services after finding out their medical insurance would cover the pregnancy.  Charging more because they know now the IP (intending parents) have more to spend since they didn’t have to purchase private medical insurance. 

So watching all this, and knowing on a personal level, all of what “Baby Baker” has to endure for us – not asking for a single dime for their time, pain or inconvenience but doing it all out of nothing but a giving heart, is absolutely amazing to us.  Watching this family and their obedience, for what they feel the Lord is leading them to do, is inspiring.  

We still are in shock that this is all happening.  The phone call we got in the car, from Dr. Sher informing us a full-term pregnancy would be nearly impossible, was crushing.  We felt all hope slip through our fingers that afternoon, since we knew there would be no way in this life, we could afford a GS.  So now being 3 weeks out from a transfer with the most amazing, selfless couple, offering to give us the most precious gift, for absolutely nothing, is still overwhelming.  In every cycle, and every pregnancy we find ourselves holding our breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and going into this ... we have felt kind of the same way.  The Lord has opened the doors and lined everything up so perfectly for us, yet it still seems so unreal, a 'too good to be true' feeling and I still catch myself wondering when the bubble will pop.  I'm learning to let go of the past, and just trust the journey, although it is not easy and something I have to remind myself to do more than once, or twice, a day!

We are so grateful and so excited to see what this next month has in story for both our families ... now for time to just get movin'